November 11, 2008


I just re-read my post on cats from yesterday and realize now that I was kind of nuts. I actually insinuated that I would be happy if a horrible accident would befall my neighbor. Oh my! How terrible! I would only be happy that the cats would quit crapping on my lawn. It would just be a happy coincidence, like getting a big life insurance check or something like that.

Today I am still mad about the cats, but I am not consumed with hatred and rage. Yesterday, I could have gone to jail for a cause or protested something terrible or maybe even signed a petition or two, but today, I am back to being apathetic me. I don't really care too much about anything except what I am going to eat for lunch and how I would rearrange the furniture of I had the energy and the brute strength and the will.

This is the me I actually kind of like. That hateful and rageful person I was yesterday was the person I used to be all the time. Up until around 30, I was just a pill, a bitter, bitter pill. I was filled with anger about the injustices in the world and how horrible life was for so many people, including myself. And how no one really "knew" me and how if they did, they would "understand." It makes me cringe just to think about what an asshole I was.

That's not to say I can't be a total asshole now, it's just not my default setting like it used to be. Which is really nice. It's hard to be so pissed off all the time. It take a lot of energy. And frankly, I am just not as young as I used to be.

Life is just a little easier these days...except for the damn cats.

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