January 14, 2010

Ramblings & Mermaids

I bought my son a Swim and Splash Mermaid Dora doll today. Because he wanted one, that's why. And if anyone makes fun of him, I will beat the shit out of him or her with the hard plastic tail of said doll.

I really don't have any hard and fast rules for parenting, obviously, but there are things I encourage. I encourage him to be himself, even when I feel weird about it. And, I'll admit, I felt weird about the doll. I was really just worried another kid might tease him about it. Other kids were the bane of my existence when I was growing up and had I lived in a slightly more dysfunctional and violent household, I would have likely ended up on the evening news acting out my intense hatred of other kids. Little fuckers. I heard someone describe their childhood as, "we suffer in silence, until we erupt in violence." I just ate, drank and acted out in other unfortunate and inappropriate ways. Violence turned inward, I suppose.

I will send Max to school and I will encourage him to make friends and talk to adults that we know, but I will never let him fly alone as an unaccompanied minor. Ever. Period. There are shitty fucked up people in this world and a lot of them fly.

I will encourage him to tell me if anyone ever hurts him and then I will exact revenge as I deem appropriate at the time, preferably after a long pause and a lot of prayers.

I will, I hope, allow him to express himself creatively, as long as it does not hurt him or anyone else.

I will, no matter what, love him with my whole heart and soul and would, without a nano second of hesitation, give my own life to save his.

This is disorganized and rambling...a lot like my life right now.


alice said...

I love Max and I love you!

Laura Ferry-Jimenez said...

lucia has a similar mermaid - so what?! I'm still searching for a used table on craigslist that I can cut down and make my girls a much needed train table! :)

beth ferry pekins said...

Wonderful once again Clsire! Max is fortunate to have you as a Mom. The doll is cute. What guy wouldn't want to swim w/ a mermaid?