October 23, 2009

Come Fly WIth Me

I am thinking my new take on the blog is going to be that I post more often and say less. You see, I was trying to produce a once a week masterpiece. Alright, masterpiece is a little over the top, but something more than a blurb or a link to something else that is funny. I have become a blog snob, I guess. Or maybe the English teacher in me is coming out and afraid I will be graded on each post. In a way, the comments are the grades. Yes, I am that shallow and egotistical that my mood is effected by the number on the scale the type of comments I get on my blog. I am witty, but you didn't think I was emotionally mature, did you?

On Wednesday I had to fly to Atlanta for a business meeting. I put on a nice pair of pants, blouse, heels and jacket. Max saw me and said, "ooooh Mommy, you have your fancy clothes on. Are you going on a plane?"

Yes, I travel a lot for work and yes, my son probably thinks I am a flight attendant.

Some days, I think I could step into the flight attendant job with absolutely no training or orientation and do it as well as a veteran. This is not because I think the job is easy. Au contraire, mon frere! I think it is as painful and being a crack whore, perhaps even less rewarding. But, I have been on so many flights in the past 6 years that I can practically recite from memory the pre-take off speech.

I, sadly, hate to travel. Airplanes smell like urine and coffee grounds. Thank you very much, but I have enough of both of those smells in my on the ground life. And, I am pretty sure the foam on the standard airplane seat is not only wafer thin, but teeming with a thousand different types of germs and bacteria.

I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.

If only I had a handy bag to put it in.

Buh-bye, now.

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